getting fucked up is my absolute favourite thing to do
which is why i haven’t done it this year.
the first few months were easy, as they often are. better sleep, more energy, easier body fat maintenance, better skin, etc etc etc.
now the summer nights are here it becomes harder to remember the negatives and easier to see what i’m missing.
something fairly profound that i’ve noticed is that i no longer look forward to things. watching a match at the pub, meeting up with friends, work social events, they all have a much short shelf life without alcohol, whilst some events aren’t worth bothering with at all. this loss of anticipation has probably created the biggest void in my life.
i’m not an alcoholic, far from it, but i’m also not as in control of it as i wish to be. i was recently amused when i noticed that my wife and i had gone the same amount of time without drinking; a proud moment for my longest streak in 4 years, a standard period of abstinence for her. she is my role model in many ways.
i’m at a bit of an unfortunate crossroads and i’m really unsure what to do. i suppose the simplest and likely best decision is to do nothing at all and just continue as i am.